List of Posts by Sikowitz
This is the page of Sikowitz's TheSlap posts. Posts Sikowitz: '''I am on TheSlap.com. Now what do I do? ... and where did I put my coconut? '''Sikowitz: '''As you know, school has now begun, but I, Erwin Sikowitz, have yet to return to Hollywood Arts. And that's because my list of demands (which I sent to the school administration months ago) has yet to be met. My Demands # Coconut vendig machine MUST be added to the Asphalt Cafe so that I can get my daily serving of coconut milk. #My mother MUST be banned from the Hollywood Arts premises. Every time she comes to visit, she hurts my feelings. #A pay raise would be nice. Tie-dyed clothig is back in style and becomming rather pricey. #A new PearTV MUST be installed in my classroom so I can play my acting reel on a continuous loop -- for educational purposes, of course. #Have security stop searching my satchel every morning. What's inside a man's satchel should be privat. Once all of the above have been completed to my satisfaction I will return to my positon teaching the dramatic arts -- or until my mortgage is due whichever comes first. '''Sikowitz: '''Hello students, I'm teaching again. None of my demands were met, but my mum said she'd cut me from the will if I didn't go back to work. '''Sikowitz: '''Do you know if masseuses offer teacher's discounts? I have a lot of stress to be relieved! '''Sikowitz: '''I dropped my harmonica in the men's room toilet. '''Andre: '''Sorry man. I know a place where you can get another one. '''Sikowitz: '''Why would I get another one? '''Andre: '''Cuz your old one fell in a toilet. '''Sikowitz: '''And your point is? '''Sikowitz: '''Ping to the Pong! Isn't that what the kids are saying these days? '''Jade: '''No one says that. '''Sikowitz: '''Everyone wants to know what my homemade sausage is made out of. Hilarious, I know. '''Sikowitz: '''Still recovering from reggae night on Sunday. What'd I miss? '''Beck: '''About 2 1/2 day of school. '''Sikowitz: '''No, I meant important stuff. '''Sikowitz: '''Do they make special sun screen for the top-of-your-head skin? '''Sikowitz: '''Trick or Treat? I pick trick. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH '''Sikowitz: Can't stop playing that Ditch the Fish game. It's starting to affect my job, my relationships, my life. Help. Sikowitz: '''I'm running a marathon next week in Long Beach. Guess I better start practicing. '''Sikowitz: '''I make my own cranberry souce. Interesting thing though, it contains no actual cranberry. '''Sikowitz: Step right up and get a little bit of Sikowitz! '''Sikowitz: '''Acting is like fishing. Only there is no fish. '''Sikowitz: '''Later on, we'll perspire as we sit by the fire... '''Andre: '''You know those AREN'T the real lyrics right? '''Sikowitz: '''Yes, but sweating is funny. '''Sikowitz: '''Happy Easter, Everyone! '''Andre: '''Dude, Easter's not for like another 3 months or something. Tell me you're kidding... '''Sikowitz: '''Wait, what month are we in? '''Sikowitz: '''Where did the time go? I can't believe it's 2012 already! '''Rex: '''Man, and you're responsible for my education?? '''Sikowitz: '''Man, 2011 is dragging. The 70s happend so fast they're still just a blur in my memory. '''Sikowitz: '''Ahh, I love Sundays! '''Beck: '''You know today's not Sunday right? It's Friday. '''Sikowitz: '''Ah, Good Ghandi! How many classes have I missed so far? '''Beck: '''4 '''Sikowitz: '''Just bought diet SOAP. Anyone know how I use it? Eat it? '''Sikowitz: '''Do you think it's odd that a 34 year old man lives with his mom? Just asking cuz my friend does. Not me. '''Sikowitz: '''Get this one -- Had jury duty. Judge made me put on shoes! I objected! He didn't care. '''Sikowitz: '''A woman told me I have "mad scientist eyebrows". Is that a good thing? '''Sikowitz: '''I don't remember if I showered this morning. I don't stink, do I? '''Jade: '''Do you remember if you showered yesterday? Cuz you smell the same as you did then. '''Sikowitz: '''I wish they'd invent something that keeps your feet clean while walking around barefoot. '''Jade: '''It's called SHOES! Get some! '''Sikowitz: '''Took my mom to Vegas last weekend. She had a great time. So great in fact that she's never allowed back. '''Sikowitz: '''I waited in line 9 hours for a new PearPad... It turns out it's some sort of computer. '''Robbie: '''Why did you wait in line for it if you didn't know what it was? '''Sikowitz: '''Don't know. Just curious I guess. '''Sikowitz: '''I'm getting ready for the big Sikowitz Sleepover. Teenagers like industrial sized bottles of mayonaise, right? '''Robbie: '''We sure do! '''Rex: '''He does not speak for all of us. '''Sikowitz: '''I make my own toothpaste. It doesn't clean very well and it tastes like mud, but it's super cheap. Anyone wanna try some? '''Sikowitz: '''Teaching teenagers is like herding cats. Except the cats are over 5 feet tall, can talk, and own cell phones. Okay, That's a bad analogy. Category:Websites Category:Characters Category:TheSlap.com Category:Quotes Category:Minor Characters